I felt very guilty about this, thinking “it shouldn’t be about me, I should be thinking only of her”. I was frequently surprised by the storms of emotion that overwhelmed me when my mother was dying, just as I thought I was fully in control and being a sensible grown-up. Please dont be afraid of any of this - it is a natural process. You will also find her limbs go cold and her eyes go milky. This is called Chayne Stokes breathing and there is usually only hours left when this starts. It will become more noisy and there will be long gaps between breaths. Right at the end you will hear her breathing change.
#End of life no food or water how long driver
Near the end she will be given painkillers and other drugs to keep her painfree and comfortable using a syringe driver which will give her a constant supply of the drugs. She may still be able to hear, so play her favourite music too. Put cream on her dry skin, moisten her mouth with a little sponge/brush and put salve on her lips to make her more comfortable. Make sure you say everything to her that you need to. It is a horrid twilight time - I called it living in limboland. Some people pass away quite quickly, others can go on for a long time - my mum lasted 17 days. Im sorry, I cant be precise about how long she will survive. Her body is closing down and she will not be able to process food and fluid anymore. Please get the idea that your mum is starving to death out of your mind. I just wondered if anyone else had experience of getting to the not eating/drinking stage as opposed to some other illness taking them away? We were afraid she would be in pain, and didn't like the thought of her starving to death, but they say your bodily organs just shut down before that happens. How long can you survive on nothing? I know the GP said that oftentime this is what happens when someone dies. We went to make sure she was in okay yesterday, and when my sister and I left we said we would see her at the weekend, but now I keep thinking she might not be there. She was always a bit of a larger lady so she maintained and had a decent BMI for most of the time but now her legs look so skinny and her eyes are hollow. And now she's not eating or drinking how much longer is she going to be there? She has lost weight. I know she is so not there she probably doesn't realise, but it's still a new place for us. She has a DNR, so the nursing home will only make comfortable. I really wish she could have stayed where she was. Luckily on the same Friday we were advised of a local place, and the nursing home had done their assessment the same day, so she was moved yesterday. There was then a rush to get her moved into a place. The only reason I can think of is because there are nurses there on hand, whereas the care home would have to call a GP.Īnyway, we were in the process of finding a place when the care home called us on Friday to say Mum had stopped eating and drinking completely. They came and we had a meeting and it was decided Mum needed to move to a nursing home. So - after she was released the care home requested a meeting with social care. Getting her treated for things is just prolonging death, not prolonging life. Mum has no quality of life and we know she would not want to be like this or be "messed about" with. We do believe she has had mini-strokes before and suspect this was the same thing.Īfter she came out we discussed with the GP about Mum's quality of life etc and decided that she should not be admitted to hospital again. It was not a good experience, of which I won't go into, but when she came out the GP was certain that she'd had a stroke. Mum was admitted to hospital again for an infection around a month or two ago. She spends a lot of time sleeping, or with her eyes shut, and when she "looks" at you there is no recognition, sometimes not even focus. She has Fortijuice and Ribena along with pureed food from a feeder pouch when she's having a good day. She has not spoken for what feels like years and is doubly incontinent. Mum has been bed-bound since a hospital admission at the end of last year. I've read some posts but it seems Mum's situation is more dire than most (although I'm sure everyone feels the same). I haven't been on the forum for a long time, but am now looking for anyone's experience of the end of life stage.
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